Friday, March 2, 2007

On My Mind

I've had three strong themes on my mind, lately: surrender, truth, and wisdom. I'm still feeling out how they fit together, but the more I study and reflect the more certain I am that these are things I need to continue to pursue with passion and abandon. I'll be writing more about this over the days to come, but here are some of the things that have been spurring on my reflections...

Remember Surrender (Sara Groves)

Remember surrender, remember the rest
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was

Remember surrender, remember relief
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in

I want to do that again

Nobody Loves Me (Derek Webb)

Well I can always tell a liar and I always know a thief
Well I know I’m like my family because brother I’m the chief
Well I’m a dangerous crusader ‘cause I need to tell the truth
So I’m turnin’ over tables in my own living room

But I might nail indictments up on every door in town
‘Cause its not right or safe to let your conscience down
So i don’t care if

Nobody loves me
Nobody loves me
Nobody loves me...but you

‘Cause the truth is never sexy
So it’s not an easy sell
Well you can dress her like the culture
And she’ll shock ‘em just as well

And she don’t need an apology
For bein’ who she is
And she don’t need your help makin’ enemies
So i don’t care if

Nobody loves me, but you

Proverbs 1:1-7 (Solomon)

1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for attaining wisdom and discipline;
for understanding words of insight;

3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
doing what is right and just and fair;

4 for giving prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young-

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance-

6 for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.

7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

there. Found her. Was wondering where your Sara Groves quote was.

Not from this album: Add to the Beauty. She's got another one coming in November, too. Yay.

AttB rocks. Do you have it?

August 27, 2007 at 8:44 PM
Darryl said...

Yeah, it's great. All of hers are great. I guess you can imagine that a lot of it has, in one way or another been an anthem or a prayer for me over the last couple of years. Interestingly, it made me think about forgiveness before I knew I had anything to forgive.

August 27, 2007 at 10:22 PM
Anonymous said...

Wow. Isn't it interesting how God prepares us for things we can't see coming? Like your dreams too? Those had to be from God,painful as they were.

This CD has really, really helped in the last several days. It's helped me face down some tough feelings and be deeply joyful to the point that it hurts - I want to grasp the fruition of what I'm singing for - now. It's hard to wait. Wonder if that is part of that possibility thing you wrote about today. But when it gets to be too much, I can just switch to "It's Gonna Be All Right" and chill. I played that one on continual repeat while I worked on my paper at the office one night.

I also really like blasting the whole CD at the loudest I can handle while driving in the car. The rhythms are fabulous, my voice works well with hers and I can sing my guts out and still sound good. Last night, we made it to freeway decibels with the windows open at 80 mph.

Her influences on this album:
~coldplay
~Sarah McLaughlan
~Christine Dente (out of the grey)
~Annie Lennox
~Shania Twain
~Cheri Keaggy
~someone I can't lay a finger on but very, very familiar

You would have loved the party last night. The guys were insanely funny, making up smack for us to sing along. I just laughed and laughed while my eyes streamed. They are the epitome of what I grew up being influenced by... and yet I will never belong. This is all these guys will ever do - be mellow and funny and have a good time and love their wives (they really do). It's nice, it's good, it's part of being the foundation of stable society, but it doesn't change the world, doesn't change lives. They would probably think I was too serious... most peers did back when we were growing up together. I just need a lot more out of life than they do. What's that line from Mindy/Fighting: "I know I'm not that pretty I'm only average smart with an uncanny need..." and I throw in "to do more".

You know what though - I realized that a lot of this creative energy comes from not pouring my heart into a family and kids. It's gotta go somewhere.

August 29, 2007 at 7:23 PM
Darryl said...

Love that... "to do more". I am polarized, I think. I have some friends who tell me that, though they love me, I'm really, really intense. Then they usually look me in the eye and say "really" one or two more times. I have other ones who tell me that being with me is the easiest thing in the world. Which am I? Either? Both? I really don't know.

I don't think of myself at all in the "want to do more" vein, but... well, my schedule may tell another story. Maybe it's not that I want to do more. But there's no question: I want to do significant.

August 29, 2007 at 7:29 PM
Anonymous said...

Both.

I've been given the "intense" label a billion times. I usually get it from people who don't know how to go deep about things and find my philosophizing and emotions a bit much, or people like this: When they ask me why I went to Europe, and I say I'm getting into a new field and took a class, they sort of stop and stare and then say, "wow, that's intense." and then they think I'm some sort of uberhuman, which, as we know, is nonsense. They just can't relate, is all. And that's ok.

But people who can relate to you, who just have the right personality to appreciate what you have to offer, do find you easy to get on with. I've experienced both with you - and I think it's because I'm wired the same way. The intensity doesn't bother me (now that I know what it is). It's just that creativity and honest earnestness "burning inside" that Sara Groves sings about.

You are pouring your energy into a very significant little person. Which makes a big difference in what you want/need to do. And you have a great developing outlet with your art, music and writing. And when you need a break, you've got Europe as your playground, and interesting people all around you every day. And your job does use your speaking/teaching skills. So all things considered, you've got a pretty sweet deal. I'd be happy doing the same thing.

August 29, 2007 at 10:12 PM

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