* from June 2006 *
My daughter is a little over a year old - old enough to walk, get into anything that looks interesting to her (usually anything not designed to be used by a one year-old) and understand at least some of what I say. How much, I'm not sure, but she understands "where's Mr. Elephant/Little Lamb/your ball?" because she'll go look for them. She understands "No, that's not for you" because it pisses her off. Beyond that, I'm not completely sure.
Anyways, something hit me this week. When she sees a power bar on the floor, an outlet, or the buttons on the stove, she always wants to check them out. She wonders the same things she wonders about everything... what do they taste like? what's behind them? do they make a good noise if you shake them? When I tell her not to touch them, she gets frustrated. She can't understand why I won't let her play.
But I know that if she gets too comfortable with power bars, she could get electrocuted. It would hurt her more than she can imagine, and it would kill her - a concept that isn't even close to entering her consciousness yet. I know what it could do, and because I love her and want to protect her from harm she never has to experience, I make sure that she stays away when I tell her to.
I think I live my life in the same way... I go ahead, often touching what I want to touch, exploring where I want to explore, even though I've been told that some things are not for me. And I have the feeling that if I had any idea what kind of damage (or even potential damage) I was doing to myself - like my Father does - my actions would be very, very different. I wonder how long it will take to really grow up.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, January 13, 2007
My Strangest Supermarket Conversation Ever
Often, when I take my daughter out to go shopping, I wear her in a carrier that's like a back-pack but sits in front of me. We both like it - she's nice and close, I can see her face to talk to her, she can locate me if she feels nervous, and she can hold onto my hands and put her feet on my legs as we walk.
We meet a lot of people together. If I am ever in the mood to pick up women my mother's age, I have the ticket... a smiling baby seems to be just about foolproof. In any case, she loves to see new people and smile and play with them, and I love to have her in a position where she can learn to do that. My French is not great, so most of the conversations are short, but friendly.
A little while ago I had a woman in line who must have heard me speaking or singing to my daughter in English, and so she addressed me in English. It didn't go really well:
"Oh what a beautiful baby [that's a good start]... is it a girl or a boy?"
My little girl does not have much hair, but wears a lot of pink and, I think, looks like a little girl. In any case, covered in pink or not, this is a question I'm used to, so I answered.
"A little girl"
"She looks just like you - she's going to be beautiful"
What do I say to that? Yes, she does resemble me. And I think she is beautiful. And I am not opposed either to people saying that she is beautiful, or to being described as beautiful myself (granted, that's a bit more rare). I don't think she was trying to say that I was attractive... she was just making conversation and complimenting me on having a gorgeous little girl strapped to me. But, it doesn't leave me with a lot of room to come back: do I say that my daughter's not beautiful? Do I thank her on what was obviously a compliment to me and tell her about my aspirations to become the face of Gucci now that Tom Ford is finally gone (he's always hated me...)? There's nothing to say to that.
But then it got, unbelievably, even worse. She continued:
"Ugly in the cradle, beautiful to the table."
*blank stare*
"That's what they say where I'm from [name of country has been removed to protect other people from there with better social skills]. Everyone said I was ugly as a baby, but look at me now."
Well, I looked at her now, and was all of a sudden a little less hopeful about my daughter's future. Thankfully, it was my turn to pay, so I smiled, thanked her for the compliments, wisher her a nice day, and resolved to start shopping at a different store.
Morals of the story (things to remember when talking to a parent):
Good things
1. Saying that the baby is beautiful
2. Saying that the baby will be beautiful when he/she grows up
Bad things
1. Asking whether the baby completely encased in pink is a little boy. This applies equally for the inverse inquiry
2. Saying that the baby looks just like his/her parent and is going to be beautiful, unless you mean it that way
3. Saying that the baby looks just like his/her parent and is ugly, especially if you mean it that way
4. Saying that any baby as ugly as that will surely grow up to be as attractive as you, unless you are extremely attractive. And even then, you should maybe find another way to word it.
We meet a lot of people together. If I am ever in the mood to pick up women my mother's age, I have the ticket... a smiling baby seems to be just about foolproof. In any case, she loves to see new people and smile and play with them, and I love to have her in a position where she can learn to do that. My French is not great, so most of the conversations are short, but friendly.
A little while ago I had a woman in line who must have heard me speaking or singing to my daughter in English, and so she addressed me in English. It didn't go really well:
"Oh what a beautiful baby [that's a good start]... is it a girl or a boy?"
My little girl does not have much hair, but wears a lot of pink and, I think, looks like a little girl. In any case, covered in pink or not, this is a question I'm used to, so I answered.
"A little girl"
"She looks just like you - she's going to be beautiful"
What do I say to that? Yes, she does resemble me. And I think she is beautiful. And I am not opposed either to people saying that she is beautiful, or to being described as beautiful myself (granted, that's a bit more rare). I don't think she was trying to say that I was attractive... she was just making conversation and complimenting me on having a gorgeous little girl strapped to me. But, it doesn't leave me with a lot of room to come back: do I say that my daughter's not beautiful? Do I thank her on what was obviously a compliment to me and tell her about my aspirations to become the face of Gucci now that Tom Ford is finally gone (he's always hated me...)? There's nothing to say to that.
But then it got, unbelievably, even worse. She continued:
"Ugly in the cradle, beautiful to the table."
*blank stare*
"That's what they say where I'm from [name of country has been removed to protect other people from there with better social skills]. Everyone said I was ugly as a baby, but look at me now."
Well, I looked at her now, and was all of a sudden a little less hopeful about my daughter's future. Thankfully, it was my turn to pay, so I smiled, thanked her for the compliments, wisher her a nice day, and resolved to start shopping at a different store.
Morals of the story (things to remember when talking to a parent):
Good things
1. Saying that the baby is beautiful
2. Saying that the baby will be beautiful when he/she grows up
Bad things
1. Asking whether the baby completely encased in pink is a little boy. This applies equally for the inverse inquiry
2. Saying that the baby looks just like his/her parent and is going to be beautiful, unless you mean it that way
3. Saying that the baby looks just like his/her parent and is ugly, especially if you mean it that way
4. Saying that any baby as ugly as that will surely grow up to be as attractive as you, unless you are extremely attractive. And even then, you should maybe find another way to word it.
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