Whites: This Line, Please

My flight from Lugano was delayed last night, and so I got in after a couple of flights from, I think, Frankfort and Lisbon... maybe there were a couple others, too, but it was certainly busier than usual.

Generally, I'm through the passport check in under two minutes from joining the line. But yesterday, the lines were moving SLOOOOOOOOWLY. There was a lot of questioning, phoning, and stamping going on. And I noticed something interesting.

Since I have a Canadian passport, I don't go in the "EU/Swiss/Diplomatic" (aka "fast") line. I go in the "All Other Passports" (ake "slow") line. But it seems that I missed something in the signage. As the time passed, I noticed that all of the white people who came and joined the "other passports" line stayed briefly, noticed how slowly it was moving, and then went to the fast line.

There were about 60 people in front of me, and not one of them was Caucasian. Not a single one.

And of all the people who, I can only assume didn't have Swiss, EU, or diplomatic passports (or they wouldn't have started in the slow line), but moved over to that line were white.

Guess how many the passport guys turned away and sent back to the correct line?

None.



Now, it's pure speculation on my part, but I'm guessing that if a Sudanese family in front of me had joined the fast line, they would have earned themselves a quick trip to the special police waiting rooms. Or maybe not, actually, since they were all full already (guess how many white people in there? gold star - you got it!).

Now I've been at the uncomfortable end of reverse discrimination before: every job that I applied for while in university had this at the bottom of the posting:

"XXXXX is an equal opportunity employer, and actively encourages applications from women and visible minorities."

And guess what? When the short lists went up, every name was pretty clearly that of someone who was not a white male.

So you would think maybe I would be ready for a little payback. But I don't want it to work like that. I don't want to be penalized because Shell hired a ton of white guys 20 years ago. That pisses me off. But I don't want special rules for people coming into my country because they are of European descent instead of African or Middle Eastern.

That pisses me off, too.

So what can I do about it? I really don't know. I can't vote. I can't stop flying. But I can stay in the right line, to refuse to take advantage of my racial characteristics and obey the rules that are there. So for now, that's what I'll continue to do.

Any ideas?

The Best Add In The World

I wish I could find it online. It's from the Maldives tourism board, and I've even emailed them asking if it's available somewhere. They ignored me completely.

Picture this - absolutely stereotypical shots of a beach... a family playing, the sun going down, a gorgeous woman rising out of the water, David Hasselhof running in slow motion. And a big black guy, singing the following in falsetto to some terrible slow-jam R&B:

Everybody needs to feel well,
To be well
Everybody needs some sun,
Everybody needs so much fun
Everybody needs a roll in the sand,
Everybody needs to walk hand in hand

It's playing on CNN international, and it's just beautiful. I wish I could share it with you, and I'm not done looking.

Business In The Front, Party In The Back

This may be my favorite description of the mullet.



But that's not what I want to talk about.

I sometimes feel that way... that the business part of me and the party part of me have trouble coexisting, and I have to choose one or the other.

You see, I've realized that, at times, I can become a little preoccupied with what I'm doing, and it affects how I treat people. I start to focus on what I need to get done, and everything else kind of fades back a bit, and I think I've noticed it the most in two places: work, and church.

At work, it kind of makes sense. I'm there for a reason, and my company (or my client) expects me to be efficient in what I'm doing. And I'm not unfriendly with people around me, but I have noticed that I do start by diving right into something... I walk over to someone's desk and say, "I have a question for you."

Or, I guess, to be more precise I have noticed that other people don't do this. It usually goes something like this:

Me: "I have a question for you."
Other person: "Hi Darryl! How are you? How was your weekend?"
Me: "Good. Look, when we're doing the valuation in the past I think there's a problem with how the accrued interest is being..."
Me [pausing, look of realization slowly spreading over my face as the other person nods and smiles]: "Uh, how are YOU doing?"

And the other place is at church. I know this shouldn't happen here, but when we show up, I usually need to get the drums set up and fine-tuned, make sure the sound guy is taking care of my monitor, figure out if there are any tricky bits in the music (since I wasn't at the practice), all while keeping the little chick happy and waiting for someone to be in the crêche to look after her and the other young 'uns.

She likes the crêche. She likes the toys, she likes the kids, she likes the people who look after her there. But she is also a very, very alert girl, and I know that she will know when the service is over. I may not be the first parent through the door, but I better be the second, because when it's over, she's ready to be with me.

And then she's ready to go home.

Now I would imagine this will change, and I've already seen it getting better, but while I'm trying to do the reverse of what I went through when I arrived (to get all the drum stuff cleaned up) while keeping her happy and not pounding out a monster beat on the floor tom... what can I say, she comes by it honestly... is no small task. And then her favorite words become "Go!" and "Outside!" and "Our house!". So we usually make a rather mad dash, hoping to at least say hi to a lot of people I really care about, to get on the road and off to lunch, a nap, and all of that good stuff.

So if I've brushed you off with a somewhat frantic look in my eye while carrying a snare drum in one hand and a two year-old pointing at the door in my other, it's nothing personal, believe me.

And it could be worse; I could have a mullet.

Some Pictures

I got the first one at breakfast at my hotel last time I was in Lugano, and the second two around the recycling yard by my Lausanne office. You can see more here.

Alinghi

I got home in time to catch a few minutes of the America's Cup race this evening... it doesn't look good for our heroes - Alinghi is down 2-1. Of course, I have no idea how many legs there are to the race... maybe it's like snooker where they have a best of 31 or something, so the danger is not quite as dark as I may fear.

I think I may have tuned in at a bad time. I've watched it before and found it pretty interesting... of course, that was with English (rather than Italian) commentary. But while I was watching today, I didn't even know they were racing. They guys in the boat were just sitting there. They weren't even sitting hanging over the side. They were just watching the water.

It made me wonder... how would you feel if you were in this world championship kind of thing, had been working for a year to qualify, and, because of whatever wind conditions or the layout of the course or something, you ended up mostly just sitting on the side of the boat trying to figure out if you were ahead or the other guys were? I mean, I'm a team-spirit kind of guy - I really am. But I can't help thinking I'd feel a little disappointed. It's like sitting on the bench while your team wins the Stanley Cup. Sure, you still get to carry around the trophy and probably have a nice bonus coming, but you would feel a little out of place being, say, the only one not sweating at all.

In any case, Hop Suisse! Bring it home again, Alinghi boys. You show them: there's nothing that a whole lot of money can't do.

Sniff

Man, I have a cold. On Friday, I wasn't sure - thankfully, I was able to get what I needed to done by the end of the week. Today it's certainly here. And I'm scared of what's coming tomorrow.

In lieu of my own inspiration, here's a quote I rather like from Zoolander, which I watched tonight with some good friends:

Mugatu: "I am one hot little potato right now"

I can just see it having so many applications.

3,000

TYC just had it's 3000th visitor. I wish I could give everyone a chocolate when they visit, or at least a moist towelette or something. In any case, thanks. I appreciate it. And if anyone doubted that my mom was visiting before, now we have the comments to prove it. So - thanks, Mom.

I figure that with about 800 more the pen will finally be worn off...

Lago Lugano

Me and the crew went on a little cruise last week to say good-bye to François. It was a nice night, so I took a couple of pictures...

As usual, you can find more here.

Salmon

I think salmon is amazing. It is, in fact, the only food that I ever remember consciously choosing over good beef. And that's what the little chick and I are having for supper tonight... I'm pretty excited. I'm also pretty excited about some pictures of bees that I took at lunch time, but I'm definitely more excited about the salmon.

The bad news is, I'm almost out of popcorn. I usually use white popping corn (Jiffy Time, if I can get it) but I haven't been able to source it here. I wonder if they sell popcorn on eBay? You would think that something that's dried out like that could last forever, but I tried buying popcorn in Switzerland and it was pretty nasty once I popped it. They should warn people about stuff like that. Maybe in school, or public service announcements or something. I wonder if there are t-shirts on this theme...

Up With People

It's been a great weekend. I had some good time with the little chick, but also had some time to be with old friends, to meet new ones, and to explore a really, really wide variety of relationships. Between having a couple different groups in for dinner, hitting the Swiss rugby finals, giving some coaching on sound engineering for our church sounds crew and then spending some time with a friend tonight, it's been a really social time... and I've loved it. Not much time to take pictures, mixer is still in the shop, but it's been great just to think about the wide variety of people that I have in my life, and the richness it brings.

I'm pretty tired now, and need to call my dad (cause it's Fathers' Day), but I'm left with this kind of residue from the contact I've had with some very wonderful people over the last few days that is very special. It feels like it's kind of sticking to me... the conversations are over, the meals are finished, but the "why" in response to so many things - why I choose to spend my time and energy the way I do, perhaps why I am here (in Geneva) or here (earth), why it matters - is just a little more solid than it was before. And that's a good thing.

A Good Book With A Terrible Name

I borrowed (or, rather, was lent) a book on personality types (the study of which, I've learned, is called "personology"). It's by David Keirsey, who is known for his temperament sorter, which is both a simplification of the Myers-Briggs type index and an extension of it. You can see his website here. Unfortunately, while he is a good writer and a brilliant personologist (hard to say that without giggling), he appears to have acquired his aesthetic taste for web design from myspace, thankfully without the background that doesn't move as you scroll the page, which is, while we're on the topic, officially the worst legal and quasi-ethical use of the internet since Al Gore invented it. Oh well.

The book is called "Please Understand Me II". Without bothering to look it up, I can surmise from the title that the original (it's not clear if it was just "Please Understand Me" or if, intended to be part of a series of revisions from day one, it was presciently labeled "Please Understand Me I") that it was probably published in the 70's or maybe the 80's. It may be the worst title of any book I've ever opened.

But it's fascinating inside. Here's the thing that has grabbed me the most so far: my motives are relatively altruistic. I want to do what's right, and I want what's best for the people around me. I miss the mark sometimes, but that's the mark I'm aiming for.

I had figured that everyone more or less operated on those same principles, but sometimes people became confused or had odd ideas about what was actually good. But I always believed that if you gave someone enough chances, gave them the benefit of the doubt, and encouraged them to do and be their best, they would get there eventually.

Well, it turns out that not everyone works that way.

I guess I should have known that by now. But it leaves me in a difficult position: how do you believe the best about people knowing that their best, as they understand it and pursue it, may not turn out to be something worth believing in? Or how do you live without believing in the potential of the people around you?

I'm not sure I like either option much.

And then the question of faith comes into it: I don't know if I'm drawn to Christianity in part because it fits the moral ideals that are part of my natural character, or if my character (or personality) has been formed by the ideals of my faith. In fact, I am not sure about the reality or the impact of the former; I am certain of the truth and significance of the latter. I have no doubt that I have been changed and shaped by my faith and by a God who intends me to be more and more like him, as well as more fully who he created me to be as an individual.

For those following along, I am what Dr. Keirsey would call an Idealist. But the present focus for the Guardian type tends to be a stoical, often pessimistic resolution. For Rationals, it is pragmatic and generally self-satisfying by whatever means are most efficient. For Artisans, it is primarily hedonistic and very short-term. These would not seem to be quite as comfortable a fit with the basic tenets of Christianity: to love and obey God first, to love and care for others second, and to put your own needs and desires in a trailing position.

So what happens when someone whose primary focus is on fulfilling immediate, hedonistic desires comes in contact with a God who demands that others must come first, and that the absolutes of conduct and character cannot be subverted to achieve an end? Does their character change? Does an "SJ" become an "NT" in time? How is God's plan worked out in the variety of creation of humanity, and how close (or far) from his design is what we see today?

It's a lot to think about. And an interesting book.

Pictures Of Strangers And New Friends

I had my first portrait experience with strangers last night. At least, they were strangers at the start - by the end of the time we were reminiscing about what it's like to move from Canada to Switzerland, trying to remember where Erik Singer fit into the KISS lineup chronology, and enjoying a drink together in the gorgeous evening light.

They are a lovely couple, and the pictures are to commemorate their engagement. They were a little nervous about it - and I probably should have been - but it was a lot of fun and I think we'll have some shots they're happy with in the end.

[EDIT] Well, it turns out that they're really happy with how things turned out, and I am, too. Fun.

Those Little Stickers

I don't remember if they have these in Canada, but in Europe, you often see cars (or, more often, trucks) with a little circular sticker on the back - a red circle with a number in it. I thought that they listed a maximum speed that the vehicle was able to drive at, but I've seen some with three stickers - say, 70, 80, and 100 - which confuses me.

Does anyone know what's going on here?

Rugby

Okay, I won't even pretend to know the rules.

I never know why they stop. I haven't been able to find any kind of link between what is happening on the field and when the ref stops the play.

I have even less of an idea about how they get started again. Sometimes it results in a scrum, sometimes in a line-in (side-in? when they throw it in from the side), and sometimes somebody kicks it or just picks it up and starts running.

But it's a pretty amazing sport, I think. It's fast, it's aggressive, and the stops usually aren't too long. And when they do stop, there is often a bit of shoving going on, which is nice while I'm in hockey withdrawal.

So I went to see my friend David (who plays for Geneva) play in the Swiss semi-finals this weekend, and had a great time. They're playing next Saturday against Zurich in the finals, and you should probably come.

I took some pictures, too. You can find more here.

Mindy Smith

I was putting a bunch of the MNB tunes on my mp3 player and noticed I had tracks from a Mindy Smith album (One Moment More) on my PC. I can't remember how/from whom I got her CD, but I don't think I had listened to it after ripping it.

Wow.

Her voice reminds me of Alison Krauss (that is, what an angel would likely sound like if I had the chance to hear one sing), but she is a bit more folksy rather than bluegrass-y, and when she rocks, she rocks it right. I'll tell you... listening to her rip it out with some open, country harmonies in behind and the drums kicking Steve-Earle style (think "Copperhead Road") while walking to work in the sunshine this morning pretty much sets up a day that cannot, no matter what follows, go too far wrong. Yeah, baby!

Happy weekend, everyone. Here's hoping you get a chance to breathe, to slow down, and to see or hear something beautiful. And if you're the one who introduced me to Mindy, thanks. I owe you one.

ENFJ - An Overview

So, with my disclaimer in mind, this is all about me.

The best site I've come across so far in terms of explaining the Myers-Briggs types (MBTI) once you know what yours is, is personality pages. You can find more here, or just do a search. For a nice overview, this site is good, too. This one is very nice, too, and offers a really clear distinction between each of the pairs (E/I, N/S, F/T, J/P), which makes it a good starting point.

You can find a few tests online. I've done this one, and Caro, who knows quite about this stuff, endorses it.

I'm an ENFJ:

Mildly extroverted (22%). So I like being with people, but need time on my own, too. If only I could be alone with people, it would be ideal.

Really, really, really intuitive (100%). Not in the sense of being psychic ("you're thinking about... how hairy Robin Williams turned out to be in The Fisher King!"), but in the sense of connecting in a far deeper way with what it possible than what we experience through our senses. It means that, for me, what I see or hear is just a starting point, and that the interpretation and meaning that I derive from it is far more important than the "data" I collect. It's why the conversation we had changed my life, but I can't quite remember your name next time I see you. Sorry about that, by the way.

Just a little feeling (12%) in how I process things, as opposed to working in a strictly intellectual way... the head/heart balance. But this one is almost too close to call.

Pretty judging (44%). This is not the same as judgmental, I'd like to point out. It means, externally, preferring order and organization to a lot of open options. It means that when I travel, I book the hotel ahead. It means that I draw conclusions that I'm willing to live by. I'd rather organize the world around me than let it run its course and adapt to it.

These are excerpts of the ENFJ description on personality pages, with my comments. And I'll say again... this is, in a way, more for me than for you. Writing helps me think, and I'm publishing it here in case you find it helpful or interesting. But I won't be pissed if you get bored and skip it. I promise, there's no quiz at the end of the semester.

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

I don't see myself as being driven primarily by feeling, but "how things fit into my personal value system" is dead-on. I used to think I was stubborn. Okay, I still think I'm a little stubborn. But I've discovered that it's a lot deeper than that... I am not stubborn in the sense that I'm unwilling to change. I'm very willing to change - eager to change - when I understand the change to be an improvement, a closer understanding of real truth. But I am anchored to my principles, and I won't compromise them to make my circumstances easier. It turns out that if there is one thing I'm not, it's pragmatic, especially when pragmatism leans towards relativism. If I believe it's right and I believe it's important, I don't care what it costs me to hold on to it. If I want Italian and you want Chinese, we'll probably end up going for Chinese, and I'll be a-okay with that. But I won't lie to smooth out a problem. I hope that it ends up being flexible but anchored.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities.

This one is interesting for me... I find myself swinging between being people-focused and being very much drawn toward abstract and intellectual pursuits. But either way, it is certainly a world of possibility. When I enter a conversation, I wonder how it may change me, or how it may change the person I'm talking to. When I pick up a book, I wonder how my views will grow as I read it. When I am creating, that potential of "I wonder what could be" is what drives me to put down another track, to stay out and take some more pictures, or to keep writing.

I don't know if I will create something amazing, but I know that, if I stop, I certainly won't. And I really hate that thought.

ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people.

Kind of. Almost. I do love that, but I think my main interest is in realizing possibility in one way or another. In myself, to become the man I was created to be. In my relationship with my little chick, to show her love that is real love - concerned more with her than with me - and so to equip her to fulfill her own potential. In art, to create something that would remain uncreated if I didn't do it, but also would leave me without the growth and experience that goes hand in hand with creating. And with people I am in relationship with, to show them love and support that goes beyond a good time, not just to enable them to grow, but because I do love them.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal.

Yeah, this one is on the money, and has proven to be a major challenge for me. Thankfully, I rarely see it any more in my personal relationships... I've discovered that being open and vulnerable may be a little scary, but it's best. Best for me, best for the person I'm talking to. It's more challenging when I'm in a teaching position... I am still inclined to play the role of mediator (which is what we chameleons call it) rather than participating in a group as me. It's not because I'm trying to hide, but because I'm trying not to get in the way.

I think what holds me back is that I have the sense that I have the potential to be an intellectual bully, though generally a very well-intentioned one. I like debate. In my university philosophy classes, I used to love choosing the most interesting position and putting it forward and then defending it, regardless of what I actually believed. It's the challenge of it... it's like a sport, but without the sweating. So when I'm in a group situation, I want to get us to the best possible point through the discussion, but I don't want to be directive in it, for fear of pushing someone into something that they don't really embrace for themselves. It's a tough balance for me to find.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

Well, this is the most uncomfortable part for me to post. "People love me." You can sign up for the fan club here - free tee shirt with 3-year membership.

I can be more diplomatic than straight-forward... when I was younger, I had a tendency to be a little too blunt. I've overreacted, I guess, and while I value honesty very highly, I don't want to use it to hurt people.

Do I really understand people? I don't think so. I really care about people, but I think my desire to see and believe the best in everyone around me has often clouded my judgment, sometimes with devastating results. I've been manipulated. Odds are not bad that I'm still being manipulated. And I'm sure that I will be again. But if I have to choose between cynicism and safety or being willing to be hurt in order to give people around me the chance to reach their true potential, it's an easy call. Bring it on, baby.

Self-confident? Check. Fast-paced? Not so much. And I wonder if the key to anyone being good at whatever captures their interest is just a matter of choosing your interests to fit who you are. I'm pretty good at artsy kinds of things without having too much trouble. I can tell you already, though, that helping Allison with her math homework is going to be a bit of a stretch.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

Social committee? That's a frightening thought, though I suppose that, between poker nights, trips with friends, and various other things, I do end up doing a lot of this... just in a really unofficial kind of way. But my favorite part of my job is dealing with people... I love it, and I'm good at it, unless it comes down to monitoring the details of what someone else is (or is supposed to be) doing. "Big picture" doesn't even begin to describe me in that context. But when I can work with a room full of people and get everyone moving through conflict and in the same direction it's an amazing high.

Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

Yeah. "What's next?" is a big question for me. No question, I'm better at starting than finishing. The past? Forget it. I'm more interested in the song I just started than the one I just completed. I try to live in the present, but I'm looking forward.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

This, to my benefit or detriment, is certainly true.

An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

Well, the good news is, I seem to have found my place in the world.

I don't see myself as manipulative or controlling, and when I've asked friends about this, they have backed me up. But maybe I just made them do it. I want to be influential, but not controlling, and, for me, there's all the difference in the world there.

And before I "found my place in the world" I was extremely sensitive to criticism - not sensitive in the sense of becoming defensive and bitter, but in being deeply hurt by the fact that I had let someone down. Thankfully, now, I am able to take pretty much what comes in stride. It's not that I'm no longer affected; I am affected appropriately now. I like that.

I don't know how much understanding my place in the world has had to do with worry, though. I think that's been more a case of getting to know a God who is worthy of trust.

That's enough for part one. Anyone else want to share their letters?

Time For A Disclaimer

I've been doing a bit of reading about personality types... I find it fascinating. And I've been feeling like blogging about it, since I love to write about most of the things I love to think about.

But, at the same time, it seems a little... well, self-absorbed to write much about it here. The interweb tells me that about 2% of the population has my type. (I wonder if it's higher or lower in Mac users? must check that out...). And even if you do happen to share it, I'm guessing that it manifests itself differently in you than it does in me.

But here's what I've arrived at. Blogging tends to follow one of three patterns, I think:

1. This is my diary. And you can read it.
2. I'm going to change the world. I just need Kofi to start logging in to my page.
3. This is my chance to write whatever random stuff I want and maybe have people read it. I just want to express myself.
   

I naturally tend to a mix of (censored) 1, and 3. I like the thought of helping people, but am not so interested in changing the world, if that makes any sense. But, in the final analysis, either I'm going to write about me and about things that are important to me, or it's going to be something not so personal but probably intended to make you laugh.

So, now that I'm getting comfortable with the thought of devoting at least a part of my blog to being all about me, this is probably as good as anything else I could write about. So if you're interested, there are some posts in the works.

If not, it's only a matter of time until there are more pictures. Or Mac digs. You know, the usual stuff.

It's Gray Outside

But it's sunny in my camera. A few recent shots that I like.

You can find more here.

Scooter Libby

He's been found guilty of perjury and sentenced to time in prison. Of course, the obvious lesson from this is not to lie. But I think there's more to it. I mean, with a name like Scooter, where did anyone expect him to end up?

Tonight

You are probably curious, but didn't want to ask. And I don't think it's in either of our interests for you to be in a socially uncomfortable position. So I'll just come out and say it.

I'm going to make rösti tonight. With cheese. And a fried egg or two. It's going to be greasy, and really, really good. I took pictures instead of eating lunch, so I'm pretty ready for it. Mmmmmmm....

A Poem

Nathan has returned,
You can hear him in the kitchen
He's probably making pasta,
With some sauce and all the fixings

In a full day at the office,
He builds a mighty hunger
Turning words into other words,
He's not getting any younger

So when he gets back to the crib
He has no time to play
The keyboard stands neglected,
It saddens me to say

He only wants to make some food,
To cook, ergo, to eat
And so he sets his mind upon
His tasty pasta treat

He likes the spicy sausage stuff,
And usually some onions,
Tomatoes and a bit of cheese,
And things that, um... rhyme with onion

And once it's cooked and he sits down
Beneath the darkening sky,
He grabs a fork and smiles at last,
A happy British guy.

You're Mac'ing Me Nervous

Yes, the title does make me feel like I've spent too much time in the Loony Spoons cookbook. But that's not the point right now. Not even close.

Did you know that the total market share of Mac's OS X operating system is about 6%? But 30% of people who visit TYC are running it. And since I am gifted with numbers, I'm going to break that right down for you.

It means a lot of people here are using Macs.

Now I have some good friends who use Macs. I have even more who have iPods. They say they're pretty.

I can't really blame them - they are nice to look at. But they remind me of an old saying: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

I think maybe it started when I used my first Mac (they called it a "Macintosh" then) to play games with my friend Andre. About five years before my dad had picked up a little Timex computer that had a whopping 2K of memory. It used a black and white TV to display, but it worked pretty well for Frogger. A year or two after that I had a friend with a Commodore 64. It was even better - color, little songs. Then I went to Andre's place and it was like going back in time. The screen was just slightly larger than a watch. That was kind of fitting, actually, since we spent years of our life waiting for it to load.

Then I used a Mac in a fine arts class in University. It wasn't an easy transition:

Me: "Why does this mouse only have one button?"
Mac person: "Apple invented the mouse, you know - Microsoft stole the idea."
Me: "That's great. But why is there only one button?"
Mac person: "You only need one. You can make it do whatever you want... you just hold down the apple key when you click."
Me: "Uh, yeah, but that's kind of why I use a mouse - so I don't have to worry about the keyboard at the same time."
Mac person: "We invented it, you know."
Me: "Yeah, you and Steve. We've just been there. There's no scroll wheel, either?!?"
Mac Person: "You don't need that. You just hold down the button and then drag the mouse."
Me [holding and dragging]: "Like this? Why isn't this working? You know, my mouse has five buttons and a wheel. I don't mean to turn this into a pissing contest - I'm just saying."
Mac Person: "You just have to hold it a little longer."
Me: "Now?"
Mac person: "Not quite."
Me: "Now?"
Mac person: "Almost there..."
Me: "Where's that stupid apple key..."

It went downhill pretty quickly from there.

So, Mac People: I have a feeling that we're never going to see eye to eye on this. You can tell me about how Macs never break down; I can ask you about which of the three Mac-compatible programs you enjoy the most. But I'm glad you're reading, and I appreciate you coming back.

Oh, and I'll try to remember to keep adding pictures.

;-)