Don't Put Your Finger In There

* from June 2006 *

My daughter is a little over a year old - old enough to walk, get into anything that looks interesting to her (usually anything not designed to be used by a one year-old) and understand at least some of what I say. How much, I'm not sure, but she understands "where's Mr. Elephant/Little Lamb/your ball?" because she'll go look for them. She understands "No, that's not for you" because it pisses her off. Beyond that, I'm not completely sure.

Anyways, something hit me this week. When she sees a power bar on the floor, an outlet, or the buttons on the stove, she always wants to check them out. She wonders the same things she wonders about everything... what do they taste like? what's behind them? do they make a good noise if you shake them? When I tell her not to touch them, she gets frustrated. She can't understand why I won't let her play.

But I know that if she gets too comfortable with power bars, she could get electrocuted. It would hurt her more than she can imagine, and it would kill her - a concept that isn't even close to entering her consciousness yet. I know what it could do, and because I love her and want to protect her from harm she never has to experience, I make sure that she stays away when I tell her to.

I think I live my life in the same way... I go ahead, often touching what I want to touch, exploring where I want to explore, even though I've been told that some things are not for me. And I have the feeling that if I had any idea what kind of damage (or even potential damage) I was doing to myself - like my Father does - my actions would be very, very different. I wonder how long it will take to really grow up.