Fantasy Menu

I'm kind of hungry. But I have a cold, which means not only do I not really feel like cooking (or shopping, usually an optimal prelude to cooking), but I couldn't really taste anything I made, anyways. So I think I'm just going to fantasize a little about what the menu would look like if I were opening a restaurant in my kitchen.

Since you may not be able to picture the restaurant in my kitchen quite as easily as I can, I should maybe explain. It would mean that the food would always be available to me, or to people here with me. I would have the option to help cook it, but there would be someone there to cook it for me on nights like tonight. I wouldn't have to worry about what was in the fridge: since it is a restaurant, everything would be in stock. The music would always be good... loud enough to hear if you wanted to, but quiet enough to talk without having trouble hearing each other. And there would be no dishes to clean up. Ever. So....

Entrees:

• Garlic-stuffed mushroom caps, lightly breaded and crispy
• Escargots, with a lot of garlic
• Pringles, plain
• Bacon-wrapped scallops
• Spinach dip
• Sweet peppers, no dip
• Fois gras
• Bruschetta
• Bacon-wrapped bacon (deep-fried, and served with a side of bacon)

Soups:

• French Onion, with lots of cheese and fresh croutons
• Cream of green thing (broccoli, leek or spinach)
• Cold fruit soups for summer

Salads:

• Rocket and parmesan, with olive oil and vinegar
• Fresh tomato and mozzarella, with fresh basil, olive oil, and vinegar, heavily seasoned with salt and pepper
• Spinach, with mushrooms, boiled egg, crumbled bacon, sweet red onion and creamy ranch dressing
• Big salad with assorted greens, cherry tomatoes, grilled chicken slices and cheddar cheese cubes

Main Courses:

• Steak, filet mignon, bacon-wrapped and grilled any way you like it as long as it's rare
• Salmon, on a cedar plank or pan-fried in a cranberry vinaigrette with the cranberry bits caramelized..... mmmmmmmm............
• Kraft Dinner
• Lobster with freshly drawn butter
• Pizza, especially a really, really good margherita with buffalo mozzarella, cherry tomatoes, and fresh basil, or with various clever varieties of meat, seafood, and vegetables, though no tuna. And capers will be highly discouraged.
• Turkey, served with stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and some joke about "what happened to all the other vegetables"
• Sushi or sashimi, especially tuna and salmon
• A really, really big burger, juicy enough to make you need a shower after you eat it (or part way through on a really good day)
• Lasagna

Desserts:

• Pavlova or trifle (or similar, anything with whipped cream, fruit, and meringue-ish stuff)
• Baked cheesecake, so dense it takes help to lift it to your mouth
• Chocolate cake, rich enough to endanger your health, with a tart raspberry sauce
• Creme brulée
• Magnum bars
• Italian gelato, mostly the fruit flavors

Snacks and Sides:

• Wings
• Potatoes: baked, mashed, or fries
• Grilled vegetables, tuscan-style
• Special K Red Fruit
• White corn tortillas one of two ways: with grated cheddar and montery jack cheeses, jalapenos, tomatoes, and a side of refried beans, or with that fake orange cheez, served in something that would keep it warm for as long as you wanted

Drinks:

• The best beers from around the world: Leffe (blond and brun) from Belgium, Franziskanner wheat beer from Germany, Pilsner Urquel from the Czech Republic, Guinness and Caffrey's from the UK, and Big Rock Traditional from Canada
• A good selection of red and white wines from around the world. I'm not a wine snob, so I'll be easy to please here.
• San Pellegrino sparking water, chilled almost to freezing, served in stemwear so thin you almost can't feel it. Unlike with wine, I am very much a water snob.
• Slurpee, coke and cream soda
• Hires Root Beer
• Italian coffee: espresso, espresso machiato, capuccino
• Licorice spice tea

So - any orders?

And, just for fun, I'm going to keep track of how many edits I do. Because I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go to bed now, think about this, and wake up in three hours covered in a cold sweat, unable to believe that I left __________ off the list.

Total edits: 2. How could I have forgotten gelato?!?