Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Hat Guy

I couldn't honestly say it was the greatest night of my life.

But for a flight back from Lugano, it was very, very special.

As I mentioned in My Commute, I have not seen the Hat Guy for a while. Well, last week, while I was in the security line at the airport, I got a text message from my boss:

"hat guy is here!"

"THE HAT GUY IS HERE!" I screamed to Denis, who was in line with me. Denis has not spent much time in Lugano, so he had never seen the Hat Guy, but we (okay, "I") had been talking about him earlier in the day, so this was a special moment, and I think Denis probably felt that immediately. Noticing the stares of the other passengers in line, I tried, with moderate success, to keep my voice low.

Needless to say, though, I was giddy with excitement, so much so that I barely even protested at the usual strip/cavity search (domestic travel in Switzerland is very secure), eager to get into the gate area to see it with my own eyes. When I got away from security, I saw my colleagues clustered around the bar... about 6 of them, all waiting for me with huge smiles on their faces. And there he was, right beside them, but in disguise.

He wasn't wearing his hat.

"Do you know where he is?" my boss asked. I scoffed - well, I would have scoffed, had someone else asked the same question - and nodded in his direction. Hat on, hat off... I would know him anywhere. I pointed him out to Denis, who gazed on him with appropriate awe. Did I ever mention I work with great people?

"You should get a picture of him" my boss said.

Now that put me in a tough position. There is no question - I wanted a picture. Very badly, in fact. But before I started taking pictures of strangers on the street I made a little rule for myself. Maybe not everyone would feel flattered by the shots I choose, but I only take them where I see beauty or something unique and wonderful about the person. I don't take pictures to harm people, ever - with or without their knowledge. You know, trying to use my powers for good, not evil, and that kind of thing. And even though I hold the Hat Guy in pretty high esteem, it seemed like this would cross the line. I hesitated.

"Would it violate your moral code?" asked my boss. He considered it. "Tough call," he said, and he shrugged.

As the flight to Geneva was called to board my heart started to race... the Hat Guy was seated, not in line, and still not wearing his hat. Maybe he wasn't going to Geneva any more. Maybe Zurich? Rome was already gone. I tried to swallow and, somehow, found the gate through the mist that had suddenly enveloped me. Not even the usually stunning sight of the sun setting over the hills beyond the airport could lift my spirits as I walked towards the plane. In a last-ditch attempt to retain my desire to live, I put on Boys Of Summer and followed it up with Vertigo. Twice.

It wasn't much, but it was enough to get me onto the plane and into my seat: 3F. As the plane filled up, 3D, right beside me, remained open. François and Denis, who were in 2D and 2F, respectively, turned around to me, their eyes alight: "maybe... he'll be beside you" they whispered in unison, voices trembling. I just shook my head. It would never happen.

And, at that moment, he stepped on to the plane.

It was just as I had imagined it: his hat was on. And his overcoat. And his scarf... he was even with a colleague with the same attire (some sort of uniform? I began to ask questions that, I fear now, will trouble me until I die). And, after removing all that needed to be removed, he sat down in the seat next to me.

"Bonsoir," I croaked.

I heard voices calling to me from the back of the plane, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Time seemed to slow down, and Poh Ming came up the aisle like a ghost, camera-phone in hand and (as usual) mischievous smile on her face. She looked at Denis, in the seat in front of the Hat Guy.

"Can I take your picture?" she asked? He smiled, and she clicked. And voila:




(Denis' face has been blurred to protect his identity. And Denis may not even be his real name, so don't try to find him. And he's married, anyways.)

Rather than go over the details of the entire rest of the journey, I will just share here some notes which I scribbled onto the napkin that came with my little sandwich as the flight progressed:
  • V. polite... apologized for turning off his reading light when I was reading
  • Read inflight magazine. Had book, didn't read it. Possibly b/c it was in Italian?
  • Used moist towelette immediately, didn't wait until after sandwich. More reckless than he appears?
  • No discernible smell
  • Asked for 2 sandwiches
  • Got 2 sandwiches! "Special" relationship with stewardess?!? To investigate further
  • Slept much of trip. Did not snore loud enough to get through "Vertigo"
  • Did not drink proseco. Suspicious. Maybe related to second sandwich?
  • Very free with shared armrest!
  • Had call on voicemail upon arrival. Was not able to get close enough to phone to make out actual content of message.
  • Took train into Geneva, went out back of station, where I lost him
I can tell you, I've made a lot of flights from a lot of places, and this one is going to be hard to beat. Yeah, baby! The Hat Guy!

9 comments:

Heather said...

Congratulations on what sounds like a very remarkable encounter. Some people spend a lifetime waiting for things like this to happen so you should consider yourself very lucky. I actually have my own version of "the hat guy" except he's "the speedo guy" and quite frankly I hope I don't end up sitting next to him on a plane or anywhere else for that matter.

troyhead said...

Bravo. Good work, buddy. My roommate Ryan (he moved in after Korey) used to always see someone on the bus that he dubbed "Troy clone". Ryan almost tracked down where he was going once, but like you, was unable to follow him to his final destination.

I love your blog. I think I'll leave a link on mine, as people usually have nothing to read on a regular basis on my page. =)

Darryl said...

Heather, it's nice to see you here!

Yeah, it's been a bit troubling, actually. I mean, at least as far as air travel goes, I may have reached the pinacle, but I have the prospect of a whole lot of flights left before me. What do I have to look forward to, now? Though I did hear on the radio this morning that Kylie Minogue is single again. I wonder if she goes to Lugano?

I've got to admit, I'm feeling quite intruiged and moderately disturbed (my favorite combination!) about the Speedo guy. Does he tuck his belly in?

Oh, and I'm going to take your comment here as tacit permission to link to your blog, which is hilarious. It took every ounce of strength I had not to leave a comment on each entry...

Darryl said...

T-roy, I think that finding your clone is a bit of a scary proposition. Not your clone, in particular, I just mean for anyone. Actually, that gets me thinking, and you can expect to see a new entry on this before tomorrow morning.

And yeah, link away. I kind of forgot you had one *blushing*, but I'll add you, too.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That was a scream. My psych major was all over that poor OCD guy.

I could introduce him to Rich here at work... maybe hat guy's a genius too.

Rich, by the way, just bought a Macintosh amplifier. He plays mostly fantastic music all freakin' day long. I'm getting used to it. When he plays Hornsby I'm happiest.

Anonymous said...

I just read this out loud to my colleague Barb. She roared laughing and once again, you got laughing tears to flow.

You could make up bedtime stories for your little chick about the Hat Guy. Just don't scare her or anything.

Darryl said...

Okay, this is really throwing my paradigm into a bit of a mess. I just can't picture the hat guy and Bruce existing in the same plane of the universe. I think it's better if I don't meet Rich...

As for bedtime stories for the little chick... yeah, I seem to specialize in ones that are just a little odd. She'll grow to love them, I'm sure.

none said...

OMG! Priceless. Anon was right.

Darryl said...

Thanks. On his behalf, too.