The Eye Of The Tiger

I played poker tonight. I lost, as usual. I had a wonderful time, as usual. It makes me wonder why I lose... and lose... and lose.... and why I still don't care?

1. I love to be with my friends and to talk to them. When I have to choose between paying attention to a conversation with a friend or really giving my focus to the game to try and read the people around me, calculate odds, remember when it's my turn (you know, tricky stuff), there's no question. Talk to me.

2. I like the music. A lot. Yeah, once it's on, I can't help it... I want to sing, I want to dance (even if just in my chair). I don't really want to but seem unable to do anything but make "drummer face" in the cool parts. It may rob me - slightly - of my ability to focus. Or to do anything other than breath and, occasionally, swallow. Oh well.

3. I like my friends to be happy. I'm not going to tell you I try to lose, but... well, I don't like taking people out, and I have, in the final two, played very, very sloppy poker. I mean, if I don't care, and the other person would really like to win, I think it may be better for everyone. Does that make me an unethical poker player?

So, here's my action plan for improving my winning percentage:

1. Invite people I don't like. No risk of conversation that way, plus I won't care if I eliminate them. I might even like it! Two birds in the bush with one stone, as it were.

2. Ban music. Except maybe techno, so I wouldn't be tempted to sing along, though it may result in me throwing someone out the window before the evening was drawing to a natural conclusion.

3. Play for really big stakes. I mean, maybe if I needed the money to make my next rent payment, I would try harder.

4. Pull back on the pizza thing and introduce more beet root-based dishes. I think this one is self-explanatory.

Yeah, that sounds like the ticket. I already have trouble with the invitation list because I have way more people I want to invite than space at a single-table game, so inviting people I don't like would really clear up that whole dilemma for me as well. So, if you get an invitation to the next game... please don't take it personally. Just bring your rent money and be prepared for DJ Bobo and total annihilation poker, Darryl-style. Yeah, baby!