You're Mac'ing Me Nervous

Yes, the title does make me feel like I've spent too much time in the Loony Spoons cookbook. But that's not the point right now. Not even close.

Did you know that the total market share of Mac's OS X operating system is about 6%? But 30% of people who visit TYC are running it. And since I am gifted with numbers, I'm going to break that right down for you.

It means a lot of people here are using Macs.

Now I have some good friends who use Macs. I have even more who have iPods. They say they're pretty.

I can't really blame them - they are nice to look at. But they remind me of an old saying: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

I think maybe it started when I used my first Mac (they called it a "Macintosh" then) to play games with my friend Andre. About five years before my dad had picked up a little Timex computer that had a whopping 2K of memory. It used a black and white TV to display, but it worked pretty well for Frogger. A year or two after that I had a friend with a Commodore 64. It was even better - color, little songs. Then I went to Andre's place and it was like going back in time. The screen was just slightly larger than a watch. That was kind of fitting, actually, since we spent years of our life waiting for it to load.

Then I used a Mac in a fine arts class in University. It wasn't an easy transition:

Me: "Why does this mouse only have one button?"
Mac person: "Apple invented the mouse, you know - Microsoft stole the idea."
Me: "That's great. But why is there only one button?"
Mac person: "You only need one. You can make it do whatever you want... you just hold down the apple key when you click."
Me: "Uh, yeah, but that's kind of why I use a mouse - so I don't have to worry about the keyboard at the same time."
Mac person: "We invented it, you know."
Me: "Yeah, you and Steve. We've just been there. There's no scroll wheel, either?!?"
Mac Person: "You don't need that. You just hold down the button and then drag the mouse."
Me [holding and dragging]: "Like this? Why isn't this working? You know, my mouse has five buttons and a wheel. I don't mean to turn this into a pissing contest - I'm just saying."
Mac Person: "You just have to hold it a little longer."
Me: "Now?"
Mac person: "Not quite."
Me: "Now?"
Mac person: "Almost there..."
Me: "Where's that stupid apple key..."

It went downhill pretty quickly from there.

So, Mac People: I have a feeling that we're never going to see eye to eye on this. You can tell me about how Macs never break down; I can ask you about which of the three Mac-compatible programs you enjoy the most. But I'm glad you're reading, and I appreciate you coming back.

Oh, and I'll try to remember to keep adding pictures.

;-)