Eurovision - The FInal

It's in real time, baby... the voting has ended, but the tallies haven't started yet. In the meantime we're watching Apocolyptica... ah, it brings back memories of Alice Cooper last year. They've lost a member, but acquired a guy who can swallow a fluorescent light tube. See - you should have come to watch it with me.

Anyway, here are my notes so far...

FYR Macedonia - She was wearing a skort. And why, "Former Yugoslavian Republic of..."? Are there a lot of other Macedonias that they are worried about being confused with?
Ireland - like The Corrs, but really, really flat. Ouch.
Spain's first boy band - or "boys' band" as the Swiss TV guys called them. So near, and yet so far.
Slovenia - Opera techno. Hold me, I'm scared.
Hungary - a blues tune, of course, but the winner of Hungarian Idol
Finland - Evenescence. In Finish, though.
Lithuania - wow, this is boring. No dancing. Next!
Greece - Ricky Martin wanna-be. Terrible song, he can't sing, can't dance, but that's why he has the back-up dancers. As Troy said, the rhythmic gymnastic influence of the choreography makes it a sure-fire winner. They have my vote. Here are the lyrics:

First off, she's a lady,
THis is a lady's world
She does drive me crazy,
Dancing like a cheeky girl

And a little bit of his promo video... no dancers, though. I'm sorry.



Sweden - Boy George meets The Darkness with a lot of Queen. They played going on up to the Spirit in the Sky with different words and a slightly different tune. Finished with the singer losing his jacket. How can they not win?
France - like all French music, full of pathos, just lacking a melody. What a shame. Thanks for coming out, boys.
Latvia - the four tenors. It's a terrible, terrible idea, even without the top-hats. White tie and jeans? Come on, guys. That's not fusion. It's just tacky.
Russia - very, very Russian. A little hot and bothered. School-girl outfits. Janet-Jacksonesque dance break in the middle. Couldn't really sing, and all three girls sang melody 95% of the time. It's only a matter of time until they're on MTV.
Germany - last year was country. This year is a lounge act. Progress? I guess how many times do you have a chance to wear a white fedora?
Serbia - KD Lang, but with a worse haircut. Maybe it would be really moving if I spoke Serbian. As it is, it just kind feels kind of serious, and has the slowest dancing in the world.
Ukraine - very shiny, cross-dressing, singing in German, accordians and techno/polka mix. Houston, we have a problem. The Swiss commetnators loved it.
England - well, it's better than last year. They were trying to be suggestive, I think, but it was hard to know because everyone kept laughing and I found it a little distracting.
Romania - not to self - never, ever go to Romania. Any country that still thinks music that gets progressively faster and has most of the lines ending with "hey!" is not a place where I will feel safe. Not safe at all.
Bulgaria - cool drums. Shame about the singing.
Turkey - once again, it would have been so much better with just the dancers. Almost no melody, but he somehow still managed to butcher it.
Armenia - just trying way, way too hard.
Muldova - is this even a country? That chick had the lowest-riding pants I think I've ever seen. I don't know how the kept them up. Maybe it's one of those tivee tricks. In any case, the chick has pipes - she hit some tough notes and didn't go flat.

Best sign I spotted in the audience - "Where is Andorra?"
Good question, really.

And the best interview - "What does music mean to you?"
Answer: "More."

The results will be up soon....