My Olympic Question

They train for decades. They wear skin-tight clothes to reduce wind resistance. They spend years getting the lightest shoes possible. Some of them even shave their heads to be just that much quicker.



And then they wear 3 pounds of gold around their necks, diamond earrings, and giant watches. Because the only thing more important than winning is... what? Impressing women who really dig men who wear a lot of gold?

I've got a little secret for you, boys - if that's what she's into, she's probably not actually going to be that tough to get. I bet you could even save the chain for after the race and still do okay.