Monday, March 17, 2008

A Vicious Cycle

Some of you are going to be disturbed to read this. I'm sorry. But I'm going to write it anyways.

Every once in a while, I get in the mood for hot dogs.

The problem is that there isn't a good way to buy them so that they just work out. I have found dogs and buns that I like that come in multiples of six. JalapeƱos aren't a problem - if I have those left, I can eat then with other things. Same for ketchup, mustard, and cheese. Sometimes I add fried onions (preferably sweet and purple, but I'm not too picky).

The killer is the sauerkraut.

I usually get done with about 12 dogs and find that I'm about 80% of the way through the package of kraut. What am I going to do with the rest of it? There's nothing else I eat it with... if I knew where to get decent pastrami I would try that, but I don't think that's such a genevois specialty.

And if I get another 6 dogs, I won't have enough.

Which means I have to buy another package.

It's like that musical thing where, if you play in 3/4 and I play in 4/4, we end up matching our downbeats every so often. And if one of us was going to trade over, that would be the moment. The problem is, this misalignment of the universe results in me eating a lot of hot dogs.

Now, I'm not opposed to eating the same thing multiple times in a row. In fact, if I make a big batch of something, I will sometimes freeze it, but just as often eat it until it's gone. (As a side not for anonymous, I would say that is a remarkable evidence of non-pickiness). But with hot dogs, I have this small inner voice saying that, at some point, enough is enough.

In fact, what usually stops the cycle is not actually running out of dogs and kraut at the same time.

It's looking down after I've taken a bite, and going, "what part of what animal could they make something like this out of, anyways?".

Yeah, that about does it.

Hey, I'm off to Prague for a while. Not sure if I'll get a chance to update while I'm there, but should have something worth reading when I'm back. Ciao!

3 comments:

troyhead said...

Every time I think of hot dogs, I am reminded of the Operations Management class where the prof talked about the time he worked for a meat packing company. The challenge he was there to help them overcome was creating a recipe for hot dogs that produced a consistent taste, but could be made with whatever "meat products" they had on hand. The fascinating (and equally terrifying) thing for me is not what is considered "meat products", but what kind of other crap to they put in those things so that a variety of meats all taste the same?!

Oddly enough, I kind of want a hot dog now, because they did strike upon a tasty recipe, whatever it is.

Anonymous said...

Swiss hot dogs are probably safer for human consumption than American/Canadian ones. Just a theory.

It's your birthday, so go ahead and pig out on all the hot dogs you want.

I'm rather amazed by your interest in sauerkraut though. And I applaud your fussy concern for not wasting food. I do the same thing. But I don't eat hot dogs or kraut. Call me fussy. It's okay. I can take it.

I do, however, love your rosti and I hope I get another chance sometime to pig out on that a few nights in a row with you.

Enjoy Prague, take beautiful pictures of fascinating people and mouthwatering buildings (I've never seen the place, make my day), and I'll stay here and listen to Mindy and Sara Groves in your honor.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Creativity Muse. Life the last year with you inspiring it (relatively; virtually mostly) has been far more creative and joyous. I'm sure all your loyal fans and friends can say the same. And they're probably a lot more public about it...y'know, using their names and stuff.

~ Anonymus

Anonymous said...

Look, it's attack of the killer Portuguese spammers again!

Abracos to you too, sir.