Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Highest Compliment

... in the little chick's arsenal is, "nice". It may not sound like much, but when she says "Awwww, nice Daddy..." it melts my heart. It's not a descriptor I would particularly welcome from the world at large, but from her... it's different.

We had a couple wonderful daddy-daughter-days this weekend. A lot of playing and singing, a lot of laughing, but my favorite part was a lot of cuddling.

One of the things I'm enjoying about this age is that she rarely stalls when I'm putting her to bed, and when she does, it's pretty transparent. "Go out there? Play with toys?". She hasn't yet decided to use the "I'm thirsty" weapon, and I'm glad.

So last night, when she told me she was still hungry, I was happy to get her a granola bar just to fill in any cracks left by dinner. And, while she seemed to enjoy the granola bar, I don't think it's what she really wanted. She cuddled in on my lap, and, as she ate, turned her head right into my shoulder and put her arm - granola bar still in tow - around me. And she just stayed there. And I don't know how it may impact her sleeping habits, long-term, but making my daughter feel beyond any doubt that she is loved and treasured is a whole lot more important to me than getting her to bed 15 minutes sooner. So I cuddled her, and it was good for both of us.

It made me wonder - what is it in that physical proximity that is so powerful, that she seeks it out and longs for it and that I want so deeply to give it to her? And how is it that, in the love I have for her, and she has for me, holding and being held can be so similar and yet so different from how it is in romantic love? I don't understand it... but I know it's important. And so does she - I can tell, that's part of what "nice Daddy" means.

4 comments:

carl sheldon said...

my guy said 'da-deee' a couple weeks back for the first time and that was enough to melt my heart. i can't wait until he is able to express himself more precisely.

Anonymous said...

Now you know why 80% of the world's small children don't actually end up sleeping in their own room at night. There was an interesting article about that recently in the New York Times. Similar reasons to a previous article on why couples like sleeping together even though they get less sleep, due to snoring, dreaming, cover-snatching, etc.

I still remember the even more "transparent" plaintive wail for cuddling last summer: "More! Mooooooore..."

In the best case scenario - babies are conceived in loving relationships, where there is enough love in the two that they have more to give others... and it naturally spills over into parenting. I think the two are very deeply linked. Once we lay down our life for a spouse, laying down our life for a child is a natural next thing. It's designed to be incredibly satisfying. And the cuteness is definitely an added insurance...So my friends say who are parents of newborns...

As usual though - you and the Shortcake muffin are really quite the team.

Anonymous said...

Interesting topic. I remember (a while ago) before you were born, your Dad and I were preparing each other about how we didn't know how your arrival would affect the time/love we had for each other. What we didn't know then was that having children doesn't divide your love - it multiplies it. How that can be, I still don't understand, but now you know it as well. There's nothing like it - other than perhaps - grandchildren!

Darryl said...

Carl, nice to see you, man! Welcome! You know, it is wonderful as they learn to express more, but so far every stage has been beautiful... I think that, at each point, they express what they feel as completely as they can, and that's where the wonder is. It's amazing.

As for the ideal... what can I say? I wish so deeply that I could provide that for my little girl... I can't. As much as the rest of me heals, I'm afraid that will always break my heart.