The Problem With Calgary

I'm getting used to the weather... other than the first couple of weeks, it actually hasn't been too cold. I am feeling pretty okay about the accent - still seems a little odd sometimes, but it will be alright. I am even dealing reasonably well with the addition of 5% sales tax to everything. So far, at least.

What I'm not liking are the drivers.

It's not so much that people are reckless... it's just that they are often really, really, really slow. When a light turns green, it's like the guy at the front goes, "well, I'll be! that thing just changed colour completely! Mabel, what do you make of that?". And then he takes off his hat, and he scratches his head, and then mumbles something else to Mabel about time to get a move on. He digs around in his pocket for his keys, starts up his engine, wonders why it won't go anywhere, remembers that his car (among other things) is in neutral, puts it into gear and moves off very, very slowly.

Imagine someone driving with a full fish tank in the back seat, not wanting it to spill. That's the kind of slowly that I'm talking about.

And then the lady behind him notices that he's moved, and that now there's a giant space in front of her. She finishes applying her makeup, looks for her keys, checks the fish, and moves out, keeping a safe distance of several hundred feet between her and the guy in front of her. After all, you can't be too safe when driving 15 km/hr.

And so on, and so on.

As a result, three people get through the average green light. Everyone else waits, and complains about how bad the traffic is. When, if they would just put their foot down when the light turns green, I would wager that the traffic situation in the city would be immeasurably better.

I am not a very fast driver, and I am not driving a very fast car... a 4-cylinder Honda, to be exact. But it's not uncommon for me to look back in my mirror after coming away from a light and have a full block between me and the next guy just a couple blocks down the road. That's a whole block full of people who are still sitting at that light instead of on their way home.

The funny bit, though, is that 5-10 minutes later, those same guys who were in the back seat digging for dropped crackers when the light changed are roaring along past me at 20 km/hr over the speed limit. Except the ones who are on their phones, who are going 20 under. And, at the risk of being labeled (unjustly, I believe) as a sexist pig, there are always a couple women driving 20 under the limit in the fast lane. They must be using hands-free, because I can't ever see them talking, but they are going awfully slow in the wrong lane.

I did go out for chicken wings and a hockey game on TV last night, though, and that was about enough to make up for a whole lot of slow drivers. So maybe this will work out, after all.