Kylie

So, I went to see her last night. It was a good show, but I must admit - for a concert, I felt a little out of my element.

It wasn't the music - that was pretty good. The staging was great, the costumes and choreography were incredible. I even had my usual spot (front, middle, on the rail).

I think it was that, as I looked around, it was just a different crowd than I see at most shows. I was sharing the spot at the front with a lot of other men, which I hadn't quite anticipated. And the vast majority of them had good tans, sleeveless shirts, carefully manicured facial hair and very expensive glasses. I felt just a tiny bit out of place.

In fact, I kept having these visions of it turning into one of those things like in a magic show where they need a volunteer, or at a comedy show, where the comedian starts to work the audience. I just imagined the music stopping, and the spotlight swinging directly to me, with a caption going onto the big screens: "Here's the straight one".

They would start to pepper me with questions to try to prove my guilt:

"Quick - spell Issey Miyake!"

"How does the Sex In The City movie end?"

"Where's the best place to go dancing in Geneva? WHERE?"

And I would just crumble under the pressure. I wasn't even sure what would happen then... would they kick me out? Make me wear a tank top? Or worse - get me to dance?

Yeah, I didn't know which direction it would go, but I was pretty sure it wouldn't be pretty. Thankfully, I was able to make it through without attracting too much attention.

Plus, I got a pretty cool tee shirt. And that, after all, is what concerts are all about.