The Wedding (Again)

Well, yesterday was another wedding for a wonderful close friend. It was a busy day, but it was great. Busy because:

I was in the bridal party
I was playing drums and singing for the 8 or so songs they had during the ceremony
I was giving the toast to the groom (tag-team with another groomsman)
I was the emcee for the reception
I sat in on drums with the groom and the band for a few tunes at the dance

Great because I love the people who got married, and it was beautiful to see them taking this step, to hear them promising their love and faithfulness to each other. And it was good because I loved being able to participate in their day and give them something that maybe wasn't better than what someone else could have given them, but was, at least, unique, and could only have been from me, in how I played and supported and spoke.

And since I don't think that there was anyone there who regularly reads (or at least comments) here, I'm going to take a minute to just say that I nailed it. It was a good feeling.

Music is pretty much not a problem - I love to play, love to perform, so that's all good.

The toast was a bit tricky... the friend I was giving it with was quite nervous, and our styles are pretty different - I like to figure out the main points I want to hit and then just get up and talk. He likes to have everything written out, to be able to read it. But we got it figured... decided on a theme (a user's guide about the groom, for the bride), figured out which stories to tell and who would do what, got his part written out and mine outlined, and it went over really well. Funny in parts (okay, for most of it), but also really honest and sincere and appreciative from both of us. I think that best compliment that I received after (except for a hug and "I love you, man" from the groom) was this: "you really showed a side of him that most people here wouldn't know, and though speeches like that sometimes feel forced and a little put on, it was just so sincere and natural - I could tell it came from your heart. I think you really presented him well to the bride's family".

That made me happy.

The other part of my talking was a bit of an adventure. To MC a wedding with a lot of structure is not so hard... you just make sure things are moving along from one event to the next, more or less as close to on-time as you can manage. But this was not a highly structured affair.

I also realized as we were driving from the church to the reception hall that I had meant to think of some stories to tell, some jokes or something... and had completely forgotten. Oh well.

So I winged it. And I'm glad I did... it meant I could be casual, relaxed (I had one person after comment that it felt like I was just talking to one person... and after struggling for YEARS to get past my "now I'm giving a presentation" voice, that was a huge compliment for me) and funny on my own. And it went really well - I think it helped to give the rest of the evening a casual, relaxed, and confident foundation to kind of float along on. It was cool.

So, turns out this post is mostly just bragging so far... not my usual fare, and if you're a newcomer to The Yellow Couch, please don't be scared away without reading a bit more. I'm not usually quite like this. But I'm really happy with how it went, and wanted to share it with you.


It was a pretty significant day for me for another reason.

I don't dance (except at concerts, where I move pretty much non-stop from start to finish).

Or, at least, I didn't.


As the dance started, I kind of slumped into my seat. Usually, I start figuring out how I can get home and into bed at this point. But I had to be there till the end, tonight. I was ready for a long, long night.

I was sitting next to one of the bridesmaids, a friend from a long time ago who had come back to Geneva for the wedding. I said something to her about always dreading this part of the wedding. She was surprised. So was my co-speech-giver's girlfriend, on the other side of me. "You're musical," she said (which, actually, pretty much everyone does at this point in the conversation), "you must be able to dance". I tried to explain that having good rhythm is not the same as being a good dancer, but she would have none of it. They both decided that I was incapable of not being able to dance. Meanwhile the band started into the second tune, a 60's rocker. My bridal party counterpart looked at me and said, "hey, you know, it's a fast one, and there are a lot of people out there - no one is even going to notice you if it doesn't work". I decided she was right.

"Okay," I said, "do you want to dance?"

She did, so out we went, and you know what? It was fun. I liked it, and I kept dancing until I realized that it was going to be the first time I would ever have to get a suit dry-cleaned within the first week that I had owned it. But it was worth it. Turns out I can dance - not stunningly well, but well enough. So I danced with her, with other friends, with women I didn't know, with a whole bunch of people, with no one in particular. I danced with the bride, and even with the groom. It was pretty good.

Yeah, good wedding. And it left me thinking the same thing as the groom as we stepped off the dance floor for a drink and a bit of time to talk. We sat down and he looked at me, and said in his usual, direct way "Well, that's good. Done. Now, D... when is yours?".