When I was in high school, I used to draw a lot.
Then I got drums. I found with drums, I could really create something more intuitively, more instantly, more naturally. It was great. While it may have taken me days to get a drawing that really captured what I wanted it to, I could do it in real time with music.
I still play the drums, but sometimes, I prefer to take pictures. And as I was editing a shot this morning (after working on a song I'm producing last night) I realized that, with a picture, I may have 10 seconds to see something (or someone), pull out my camera, frame, and shoot. I have another 5 seconds to upload it on my PC. If all goes according to plan, I take about a minute to edit it once it's online.
I've been working on this same song for a long time. It's not bad, it's just... reluctant.
And it's made me wonder... when I long to create (and I haven't ignored your question, Caro, it's part of what started me thinking about all of this), how much of it is about the process, and how much about the end result? In many ways I'm a journey-not-destination kind of guy, but in terms of creating, I think that it's what you do that matters... not how hard you try, not what you were going for... as art, either it works or it doesn't. But I wonder if I'm willing to give up what could be greater because something else is easier.
That kind of seems like it would be a shame. I mean, I would rather make one absolutely beautiful song than a thousand mediocre pictures. I know that it's not an either-or choice like that, but still...
Anyone with me on this? I know (based on the number of you who use macs) that I have a pretty high percentage of creative-types reading here. What do you think?
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6 comments:
My initial thoughts... Sometimes you get the muse in one sitting and wham! It's perfect. But sometimes you grab the tail of the muse as it goes by and work with it more later. You take the shot, edit it later, find something really interesting in a corner of it that crops and balloons into something greater than you could have known when you initially shot. You write a song that doesn't quite click, come back later and rewrite it with a new person or event in mind and it works better than ever.
I've been writing stuff down at the moment I get it for years... I have stacks of poetry and journals and bits and pieces stashed on my computer... when I am ready to do the hard work, I'll gather it up and produce the book that people have been telling me for years needs to be written.
Until then, the only creativity that's going to get kudos is what I put out there... but creativity isn't all just for others, though I think it might be primarily to use for blessing and exalting humans out of our brute sin and into our place as children of God in His image. I think it's also an outlet for us to find out what God put inside us, to imitate Him as Creator, to work out life stuff that's bothering us or needs to be processed somehow. Writing and singing (usually while driving or with my worship band) help me do that more than anything else I do to process things.
Speaking of bands... how's MNB? any gigs coming up?
Hmm. Tricky. I guess I'm pretty much the same way. Many hours spent on songs that I end up not liking all that much the next week anyway, and every now and then a gem. In a sense, I guess all my songs are reluctant. ALL of them! Which is frustrating. And since I'm a perfectionist I find it hard to work on frequent projects the way you seem to. I take forever to get going on something because I wait to have something to start from, a simple melody, a catch phrase, a rhythm... only then do I try to give it all I got. And if I don't love it once I'm done I don't bother anymore. I can't seem to "fix" them. End result? I don't create that much anymore. Slow is the word I think =)
I prefer arranging in that sense. Because there's already something to start on. I'd love to create with somebody else. To have somebody else to bounce ideas back and forth. But with somebody else the possibilities are endless.
Well, I think that there is a mysterious kind of interplay between how creativity is for the creator and how it is for other people who either view or actively participate in it. Some of what I do is shared, but, I think, I'm the primary benefactor. Often when I drum this is the case... I think I get a lot more out of it than anyone listening.
On the other hand, I really feel the need to share a lot of what I create. How much of it is just to feed my ego/be encouraged (depending on how you want to look at it), how much of it is really just a desire to share something beautiful? I don't know, but I do know that, without sharing, it loses something... something significant.
Caro, keep at it. A lot of songwriting is a skill that will grow as you work at it. You have time... enjoy it.
I don't know how I feel about this (well I do, but it changes frequently), but the question is a very good one.
Also? Good for you for dancing.
- The Artist Formerly Known As Dandy
Dandy! Nice to see you here again... hope you're well.
And how is it that you're feeling about it now? I promise not to quote you down the road...
I am, indeed, on my way to well.
It's been awhile but I agree that there seems to be a correspondence between the joy I experience in the act of creation and witness satisfaction with the final result. But then there are two kinds of creative joy -- that complicated, wring it/wrench it, reluctant kinda joy and that nothing but net kinda joy.
I find I can almost sense which the artist was experiencing just by looking, watching, listening to their work - so maybe it does translate.
In other news, Ben Harper (my favorite living musician) is headed your way this summer! I may just have to follow him, as I have never seen him live and it is time.
D.
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