Will You Be Mine?

Today is Valentine's day.

A day of flowers, chocolate, massacres and the crushed hopes of a million Charlie Browns aching for the affections of the little Red-Haired Girl. Hooray!

I know it's Valentine's day the same way that I know it's any other day: I asked my phone.

Given the time it's been Since I've updated my blog, I should perhaps let you in on a couple of key aspects of my life. I'm still living in Calgary, and my car has become my primary form of transport, which means I'm spending a lot less time than I used to going through security waiting to board and a lot more wondering why the people in front of me consistently insist on driving so slowly (best current charitable guess is that size increases in cup holders have now outpaced the cups themselves, meaning any significant acceleration will result in a mass coffee-sloshing epidemic). Oh, and I'm married to Tamara (I didn't have the chance to introduce her before, but you'd like her).

Some things are the same: a perpetual longing for hamburgers of one type or another, seeing the world mostly through my Nikon and hearing it with barely imaginary drum accomponiment, and melting whenever the little chick breaks into song.

There is an even bigger change, though, and one I certainly didn't see coming. I chose an iPhone. On purpose.

Yes, creative types - you can do the whole "I told you so" thing now.

Still no Mac (and I don't anticipate that changing), but now I'm one of those people who doesn't think it odd to just randomly drop an "i" in front of most things I use or buy ("Honey, I'm going to the iStore to get some iMilk. Do we iNeed anything else?"). Combine that with the fact that we have a little dog, and I have clearly become what I had, for so long, ridiculed. I have not stooped to the point of having the dog's picture emblazoned on my iPhone case, but I suspect that that's mostly because until just now when I wrote that, I didn't really consider it as a possibility.

So I might be a little pathetic.

In any case, the point of all this is to say that phones (and perhaps the iPhone in particular) have reduced us (and by this I mostly mean "me") to a state of perpetual childhood. Think about it: when you were a kid, did you worry about waking yourself up? No, you knew that eventually your parents would get you out of bed in time to get ready for school. Did you keep track of your appointments? No... but your parents did. What about taking accurate messages when someone called, or remembering where the car was parked, or what you needed to get from the gorcery store? There was always a grown-up who could manage these things so we didn't have to.

We still don't.

Instead of a grown-up, though, my phone does all of that. If I ever dropped it into the Pacific, I would be late, confused, and lost. Maybe more accurate to say "more lost" (but only until "loster" is finally recognized as a good word) and "more confused", but you get the picture. I'm generally
on time.

It really hit home when I was walking the little dog, bored. As any child would do, I said "Mom, I'm bored - what can I do?". Actually, I didn't say that, because, even in my current state, I did realize that my mom was not there. What I did say was, "Siri, tell me a story". And she did. It wasn't the best story, and I didn't get to suggest any names for any of the characters and she didn't act out the voices, but still - it killed some time on my walk and happened on demand. And I only had to ask once.

The cycle is complete.

I know I said that's the point of this post, but it's not, actually.

The real point is that Tamara has been, uh... "encouraging" me to blog again. And last year I made a really creative card for her for Valentine's day, with absolutely no foresight into the fact that that was unlikely to be the last Valentine's day that we celebrated by exchanging cards or what it may take to top it with something unexpected - the gold standard, in her books - in subsequent years.

Stupid boy.

So this is your card, my Tamara. Happy Valentine's day - I love you, forever and always.

And for everyone else... I realize that that the show has long been over and anyone still left in the theatre is probably shuffling around, looking for leftover popcorn, and maybe just hoping to hit on the usher who has yet to sweep up (I have nothing to say about that). I'm not saying "creepy", but if you're reading this, you have shown a remarkable amount of patience.

In any case, I'm back, at least for a while. Let's take it one step at a time, shall we?

It's Like This

I've always wondered at what point women realize that we (men) actually have no real idea what they are thinking. I think it happens at different ages for different women... maybe, for some, it takes a certain relationship to really grasp that.

I have a hunch that, for many, it never really gets there.

And I think that's why I'm so proud of my little chick. With all the wisdom that four years of life bring with them, she already knows how to communicate to me what she is really needing.

I know, because it happened last night.


We were having story time before getting her ready for bed. She cuddled in beside me, as she usually does, while we read, and at one point, I reached over and picked her up to give her a really good cuddle - one of those ones that just don't work right, sideways. And she got an idea.

"Daddy" she said, her eyes just lighting up. "Let's do this: you tickle, and I'll wiggle".

So we did. And she laughed, and I laughed, and it was wonderful. I'm so glad I knew.

Duchamp's Fountain

One of my colleagues has a charm bracelet that she wears sometimes... I think I noticed it especially because it is the kind of thing that doesn't seem to have any male equivalent. I think that, usually, there is a kind of parallel that men and women have:

Woman: has a child; loves her child
Man: has a car; wouldn't use the word "love", but it's his car

Okay, I can't think of any more, but there probably are some. Let's not get stuck on the details.

It makes for a certain order in the universe. But I couldn't think of the male parallel to a charm bracelet. I think that if we had one, it might be more like a tee shirt with hieroglyphs. Women's charm bracelets (not that I've had a ton of exposure to them) seem to me to usually be filled with things like pictures of their children, tea pots, little dogs, and so on.

Not really my thing.

If I got a tee shirt, I'm not sure what all it would have, but I do know one thing: a urinal.

This is one of the most comforting things in the world for me, for a couple of reasons. First of all, it means that I don't have to worry about sitting down to pee. And to those of you who don't really have this option, that might not seem like a big thing, but let me just tell you - it is. I'm not exactly sure why. I just know that it's so. But the other reason is even bigger.

Have you ever been to a place where they have felt the need to be clever with designating which washroom (that's "bathroom" for you Americans and "toilet" for the Europeans) is which? It's like naming your children as if you're a rock star (Moon Unit? Dweezil? Come on, Frank!); just because you can doesn't mean you should.

I know they're trying to make it just a little more interesting, but honestly, when I'm looking for a place to pee, interesting is not really what I'm in the market for. I want quick, and I want certain. I don't want pictures, don't want other languages, don't want anything clever at all. I want to know which door to go in through, and which door is just going to be a problem. I don't want "Beagles" and "Spaniels" or "Cops" and "Robbers" or "Cagney" and "Lacey"... I want "Men" and "Women".

But no matter what it says on the door, there is no feeling of security quite like opening up that door and seeing those urinals. It's not that they are particularly pretty - they just tell me that I'm safe. That no one is going to see me, scream, and shriek "you shouldn't be in here!". Or, if they do, it will have to be for a whole different set of reasons.

Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what else would be on the shirt, but I have a pretty good hunch that is not going to find its way onto a charm bracelet any time soon.

It's a good start. And yeah... it's good to be a man.

My Favorite Quebecer

I have recently (since moving back to Canada) discovered an affinity for mixed martial arts. Not doing it, so much (and you... you know who you are... can stop laughing, now...), but watching it. I used to not be a fan... pure kickboxing or K1 just seemed to move so much quicker, have so much more action.

Well, it turns out that there is a bit of a learning curve in appreciating some aspects of the sport, and for me, that was the wrestling/grappling side. Now that I understand the submissions, I can appreciate what's going on in that part of the match, and it's made a huge difference.

I like: great creme brulee, the Flemish primitives, and UFC. And yes, they can all go together just fine.

It's caused another major shift in my world view... I have a new favorite Quebecer.

It used to be Ivan, a colleague in Switzerland. It was so, so fun working on projects with him: he allowed me to fully indulge my Albertan-ness by refusing to call himself a Canadian (he was Quebecois), and freely throwing separatist idealogy and language laws into casual conversation to get something going. Of course, we were both living in Geneva, so our national/cultural ties could easily have fallen under question, but we both had a ton of fun playing around with it.

But Ivan has slipped to second place, and Georges St Pierre (GSP) has taken over the top spot. The man is articulate, professional, has great fashion sense, and man... can he fight! Fast, powerful, aggressive... so much fun to watch. I don't know if he's anywhere near as fun to talk to as Ivan, but for now, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

How Hard Can It Be

I saw a commercial that said one out of four women has trouble understanding a traditional birth control test. I think the point was to sell a new variation.

Do you think that, maybe, if you can't match up what goes with the "+" and what goes with the "-", perhaps you're not the absolute best candidate for raising a child?

Just something to think about.

Britt

I had the shortest shoot I've ever done last night with Brittany: there was this great wind and, I hoped, a storm brewing, so we decided to go out, find a hill, and see if we could get hit by inspiration and not lightning. I'm pretty happy with how it went, on both fronts. I didn't get the storm clouds I was hoping for, but the wind was so, so fun... except for Britt, who was FREEZING. She was a trooper, though, and hung in long enough to get the shots we were both hoping for.

Here are a few of my favorites!

You can see the rest here.

These Are A Few Of Our Favorite Things

I was getting the little chick ready to spend some time with her grandma. I put on some cologne before we went downstairs, and I guess some must have gotten onto her, because when grandma picked her up, she gave Allison a big hug and said, "oh, you smell good!".

This seemed to be good news to the little chick. "I smell good?" she asked. She stopped for a minute to think, trying to figure out where the smell may have been coming from. Then she realized - it must have been lunch.

"Like hot dogs?" she offered. And then, figuring that if a little is good, more would be better: "Smell my breath" she said, leaning over to share the love a little bit. Grandma said that she didn't think it was exactly like hot dogs, but took a sniff of the breath anyways, just in case.

I thought it was pretty cute. I also found it slightly worrying: if my Jean-Paul Gaultier works for a 4 year-old little girl, is it possible that I am not making the best grooming choices that I could be?

Something to ponder.

Stela

So, operation "build portfolio" coming along well - better, unfortunately, than operation "find day job without oil & gas experience". Oh well. These ones are from a shoot last night with Stela, and feel a little different than most of my other work. I kind of like them.

You can see the rest here. Enjoy!

Doctors Without Cameras

So I had an interesting experience on Saturday... I went to shoot a fashion show put on to raise funds for Doctors Without Borders and also to showcase some local designers. It was fun... but I need a little work on my lighting technique for runway stuff. We didn't get to see the floor with the lights off and spots on until the show, and I made some flash choices that were, in retrospect, not the best I could have made. Oh well! It was good to help them out, and to have the chance to shoot something new. Here are some of the shots that did turn out...

You can see the rest here.

Brandon

This is especially for Kat(i)e, who noticed last time when I put Brandon's name on Jordan's pictures. These ones actually are of Brandon, so you can expect the title to be more or less static...

There are a couple more here. Enjoy!

Victoria

I had a shoot with Victoria last night, and I think we got some good stuff. It's so nice to finally have a bit of warm weather to work in! And we even had a visit from the deer who live in the park...

You can see the rest here.

Advertising

There are a few that have really stood out to me, lately... one I haven't been able to find in a form that I can share with you here, so I'm going to hold off on telling you about it for now, but a couple of quick ones...

The colon cancer people actually have this as their catchphrase: We're behind your behind. I heard it on the radio and thought it was a joke, but it's the real deal. I think that's brilliant.

And another that was brilliant in a somewhat less intentional way was for a furniture store: "save up to 30% or more!".

Now this has been a pet peeve of mine for a while... seeing a sign in a store saying "Sale - up to 50% off". I might be the only one, but I'm a lot less interested in knowing that, if I go in, I am guaranteed never to be able to save more than 50%... I'd like to know I'm going to get it for at least whatever percent off. If I had my way, all the save "up to" signs would be replaced by save "at least" signs.

But being told that I will save absolutely no more than 30% or I will save more than 30%... well, how can you not trust those guys? I would suggest double-checking when they're ringing things through, though... just in case.

Happy shopping.

Stephanie

I had a shoot with Stephanie this evening, and it was the first time I've ever really approached photography with an artistic direction other than taking nice pictures. I mean, I usually hope for something more than "nice", but you know what I mean - I've never tried to make the pictures anything other than what was there.

Stephanie was open to suggestions, though, and so we talked about it and I suggested something in the vein of Dior in a Ralph Lauren setting... a lot of contrast between the clothes, the vibe of the shots, and the setting. She was game, and was willing to go looking for clothes (and did a fantastic job finding the dresses to fit what I described to her), and I found the location and.... this is what we came up with.

The shot above, for me, captures what I wanted more than any of the others.






Yeah, I know fashion is supposed to be about the clothes. But, if you're familiar with my pictures, it's no surprise to you that I had to get at least a couple of her face...

I'm pretty happy with how it went. I hope you enjoy them - if you want, you can see the rest of the set here.

There Are So Many

There are a lot of things that I don't get. And not just math things, either: why people who drive so slowly don't just take the bus, instead. Why stores and restaurants with two doors seem to like to keep one of them locked (they are trying to reduce their business by 50%?). Why people making signs don't bother to check their spelling.

But here's the one that's been getting me, lately: when I buy bagels (one of the things I'm enjoying about being back in Canada), and they say "sliced" on the bag, they only kind of are. I don't know if you've had these, so I'll try to describe it.

Imagine that you're holding an unsliced bagel in your hand, with your thumb on one side and forefinger on the other. Someone challenges you to slice it without moving your hands... and so you cut on one side until the knife comes up against your thumb and finger, then go from the other side, until the same thing happens. You're left with a bagel that's sliced about 80% of the way through (40% on each side) and you hand the knife back, with a look on your face like you tried to do one of those little wooden puzzles where you have to do something that looks impossible until you know how.

Only, it seems, no one knows how.

Now I would guess that, with the extensive popularity that bagels have enjoyed over the last however-many decades, there is some pretty significant technology that's been developed for them. There is for everything, right? And like in most industries, I suspect that the big companies have access to the best of that technology... I mean, those bagel guys must have the equivalent of nuclear-powered nano computers for bagels, whatever that might be.

But they can't figure out how to slice them all the way through.

I can understand not slicing the bagels - for people who really like their bagels whole. I've never met any of those people, but I'm not saying they're not out there, and I support them completely. I can also understand slicing the bagels, for people (like me) who like to have their bagels in two pieces. What I don't understand is partially slicing the bagels except for a strip down the middle that stays attached so that, to get them apart, you still need to slice them yourself.

There might be something to this that I'm just not getting... maybe they've had focus groups, and the feedback has come in that some people want to put things in the sides, kind of like Subway used to do, without having them touch in the middle. Or that they're going hiking or something with their bagels, and taking all the sandwich fixings with them; they don't want the bagel to separate during the hike, but like to have a little help to know where to slice when they find the appropriate blade on the old Swiss army knife.

Or maybe they need to have a baked-goods summit of some kind. I think that the hamburger bun people have done rather well... they leave a little bit so the buns aren't flying all over the bag, but they do it at the side so the buns don't just rip into pieces when you try to separate them. Can any of you UN-type people set up something like that?

In any case, this is making me hungry.

I'm going to go have a hamburger.

Shhhh.....

I might go see that Star Trek movie. Please don't tell.

Medicine Hat

Yes, that's actually the name of a place. A real place. And the best part?

The people who live there are called "Hatters". Isn't that fantastic?

Anyways, I went out there yesterday to spend the day with a friend, and had a great time. I associate The Hat with, well, pick-ups, chewing tobacco, and cowboy boots. And we did encounter a bit of that - minus the chew, thankfully - but we also managed to locate a couple of really interesting restaurants, and to find the COOLEST tree to take some pictures of.

The tree was kind of by accident. You see, Medicine Hat is the home of the world's tallest teepee. With, coincidentally, the world's worst paintings on it. In any case, it really is worth a visit, and so we decided, since neither of us had spent much time there before, to visit it. Captivating as it is, the thrill only lasts so long, so we decided to wander down into the ravine/gully/valley thing behind it and take a look.

Definitely worth the look. Hope you like the pictures... there are a couple more here.

Jordan

I went out today to make some pictures with Jordan, and it was great just to be out in the sunshine and NOT WEARING A COAT! Finally! And, as usual, it was wonderful to be shooting. Here's what we came up with...

Considering it was both his and my first attempt at anything fashion-ish, I'm pretty happy with the result.

There are a couple more shots here. And by "a couple", I mean two. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Fast, Furious, and Setting

So, the third Fast & The Furious movie is now out. Can someone tell me how this happened? I remember seeing the first one on the plane, at a time - as far as I can recall - when Air Canada was still just showing everyone the same movie at the same time. I'm pretty sure that's right, because I'm pretty sure that there is no way I would have watched it on purpose.

I remember being struck by a number of things: how pointless it was, how bad the acting was, how long it actually took me to realize that it wasn't a spoof. But it must have made money, because they made a sequal. And now a third one. I suppose that it wouldn't be that tough to develop the subsequent screenplays - they probably spent more time choosing the rims for the main cars. But really... a third one? really?

So, as my own personal antidote to Vin Diesel driving fast (probably to get away from the awful dialogue with that other guy whose name I don't remember and who may be the only actor in the world, besides the beloved Keanu Reeves, who can make Vin look so good), here are some sunset shots I got tonight on my way home from a little road trip to Edmonton.

Oh, and it was just a sunset, so I didn't bother to post a bazillion pictures... the others look pretty similar to these. But if you want to see these ones bigger, you can do that here...

Calgary

Well, I finally decided to grab my camera and do a little walking, and see what I could find. This is what I found.

You can see some more here. Enjoy!

Furry

When the little chick and I were on our way home from a weekend in the mountains, we saw some things off to the side of the road. Well, I did... she was engrossed in a Franklin book in the back (for those of you keeping track, no, she's not reading yet, but she wants to be), and decided to stop for a look. I pulled off to the side, grabbed my camera, and tossed her up on my shoulders. We went out and had a look, and they turned out to be big-horned sheep, as far as I can tell. In any case, I think I ended up being more impressed than she was. Oh well. At least she has Franklin, and I managed to get a few shots off.

Here are my favorites:

There aren't that many, but you can see the rest here.

I Admit It

I have tried to pretend it's not true, or not really completely true, but I'm tired of lying to myself. It's time to come clean.

I like TV.

And I like reality shows.


I don't know what it is... maybe the lack of drama (and no, that's not a complaint) in my own relationships. Maybe I choose too many civil people to be friends with. But there is something about looking in on the really bizarre lives of some of these people who choose to put themselves into the public eye that I just can't get away from. I like Survivor and the Amazing Race... watching relationships develop and change or sometimes fall apart. I like American Idol (though mostly only the first few episodes of each season, where there is guaranteed to be at least one person shaking a finger around, saying "you don't know me! you can't judge me! you think I can't sing, but I can sing, and if you can't see that, then you can just..." and it goes on from there.

But I have a new favorite. It's called Blush - The Search for America's Next Top Makeup Artist.

Now some of you at this point (not naming names, British Nathan) probably think I'm making this up. But I'm not. I like what they do - some of them do some really great work - and I like watching the photography side of it. But what I really love is how completely removed it is from anything I've ever experienced before.

There was one straight man on it, but he's gone, and so now it is so incredibly camp, over the top, and terribly, terribly dramatic that I just can't stop watching. I have a feeling that more than a few minutes with any of the remaining hopefuls would be too much for me, but on TV, where I can mute them if it's too much, or go hunting for a hockey game, it's just about perfect.

Very, very fun.

Photo Shoot

The little chick and I were hanging out in the car for a bit today, and to kill the time, we decided to take some pictures.

It snowed here... again. Which kind of sucks, because I'm ready for some more warm weather. But it's kind of good because I got some good winter-ish pictures that I hadn't had a chance to make before. I'll get them up soon...

But for now, here are some of my favorites from today. Enjoy!

Grumpy face




The one that always follows grumpy face




She wasn't bored. She just likes to look out the window sometimes.




While I was trying to explain why she probably couldn't hold my 8-pound camera...




My little girl, the way I usually see her.

You can see the others here.